we really need you to get your paperwork in…i have pregnant moms waiting.
this was said to me a few weeks ago by my caseworker. i don’t think i’ll ever forget that moment, because i was taking a sip of water at my desk and i nearly spewed liquid all over my computer screen.
they have waiting pregnant moms.
these past few months have been a little surreal. for one reason or another, we’ve felt this divine push to get things done. it’s all happening soon, isn’t it Father? i’d ask and the tug on my Spirit was like Him squeezing my hand.
so really, this comment by our caseworker wasn’t surprising – but it still made me catch my breath.
we ended up sending in the rest of the paperwork by the end of the week, and they received it this past wednesday. knowing homestudies can take a few weeks to process and approve, i called tuesday to see if maybe – possibly – we could have things wrapped up by friday for a grant we were pursuing.
“but i mean…if not, no worries – we can apply for the december deadline.”
there was silence on the other end of the line and then a slight clearing of her throat. “no – no, we can definitely try for friday.”
we got the phone call friday afternoon that we’re officially approved.
i can’t help but think the emotions i felt were similar to when a woman’s water breaks. excitement, fear, overwhelming wonder…
it just so happens our caseworker will be in town tomorrow for a meeting. because of this, she’s taking the opportunity to stop by the house for us to sign the agreement and to give us some last minute training papers. we never knew it would happen so quickly so we’re not prepared for the full payment due on signing, but we’re not worried.
yesterday, a friend sent me a message asking me how much we had left. i replied, “4800″ – knowing this seems impossible for only a few days.
she ended up donating more than i ever thought possible, saying “listen: God is faithful to finish. He always finishes what He starts.”
and i think back on this past year and a half. i think of the quickening i felt to begin the process, the choosing of ethiopia and the immediate halting of that decision. i remember the breaking i felt for domestic adoption, and the way our agency fully embraced us. i remember the timing, the frustration at not being able to find moments to fill out paperwork but knowing the pruning taking shape in both our hearts.
but most of all, i remember the steady upswing of this mama’s heart, knowing my baby is coming soon, and praying daily for the strength to make it through this season of jubilee.
because of this, i know :: He is faithful to complete what He started. perhaps this is why i’m not freaking out about tomorrow’s meeting. whether we receive the funds or not, i know He’s placed us in this time and space for a reason. and for this, i’m at a loss for words.